My uncle who lives in the Adirondack mountains of New York got rid of his Tundra just because of the traction control. It drove him nuts for the exact same reasons you mentioned. I have owned Tundras since the first year they came out and I have no issue. If it is slippery I just put it in 4 wheel drive. It is not like the old days when we had to lock the hubs and lean over to one side, grab a big lever and pull like hell to hear grinding as it "might" go into 4X4 mode. Just a flip of a switch and you're in!
That's why I bought a 4X4. I love my Tundra.
Steve
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