Monday is Valentines Day. If your so inclined to buy your wife flowers, the very best that you can do, is to get your fat asses out of bed on Sunday. Bring a bucket for water, and find a Whole Foods Market. Be there at 8:00 am. You can buy two roses for probably under $60. They have staff that will combine them together for you. Put them in water, hide them in your truck. Before she wakes up on Monday, put them somewhere in the house, with a card.
Forget 800- Flowers, forget Proflowers and for that matter forget your local floral shop, if there's still any open.
And for Gods sakes, don't forget a condom....
For All you Hopeless Romantics..
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